I've never been a drinker. I mean sure, maybe Bud Light at a party when I was young, but I can count on one hand the amount of times I have actually been legitimately intoxicated. Getting drunk, or high or whatever was just not my thing, even when I was doing everything else in my power to self destruct.
I just don't like being out of control. I like to know what I am doing. I thoroughly enjoy rational thinking (even when it is hard and it hurts). I don't want or need an excuse to get out of my head enough to say or do or be anything other than me.
Alcohol has been the leading cause of every problem I have had in my marriage. It is mainly for this reason, at this point in my life, I have an absolute distaste for it in general.
I am tired of being the DD. I am tired of making sure people are "okay". I am tired of watching folks act like complete dumb asses. I have no more patience for it. None.
Which is why I have recently made the executive life decision that I will no longer accept invitations to hang out at bars or any other place where the reason everyone is going is to drink. I will not go out with the intention of driving drunk people home, or babysitting them. I will politely decline anything that will place me in this sort of environment.
Will I go out for A drink with a friend? Sure. Will I perhaps have a glass of wine with dinner? Yes. But will I aid in the complete lack of self control and madness that follows in others? No.
This has been a long time coming. I have wanted to excuse myself from all of it for a long time. No one event or circumstance has brought me here, rather a lifetimes worth of them. I am 32. It's time to put myself first every now and then.
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