6 It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. 17 For
Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that
I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in
all the earth.” 18 Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.
19 One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who is able to resist his will?” 20 But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” 21 Does
not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some
pottery for special purposes and some for common use?
22 What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? 23 What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— 24 even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?
Romans 9:6-24
This is a really really difficult piece of scripture. At some point I even noted in my Bible with an arrow that this whole bit was "not fair". To the human eye, heart and mind it really isn't. Paul is basically telling us here that God's mercy on us has so much of nothing to do with us that even our own personal desire for God is only there because God granted it. He is saying that the hard heart, those people apart from God, has been hardened, or allowed to be hardened by God. He talks about Pharaoh, (the guy who was holding the Israelites captive and who not only suffered through an onslaught of plagues, but lost his first born son at Gods hand) and how He actually "raised him up" to make His own power known. To the reader this means God raised Pharaoh specifically to disobey Him so that God might show how powerful He actually is, and this meant the death of not only the Pharaohs son but ALL the first born sons in his city. God did that, on purpose. Furthermore, this passage asks us who we think we are to question any of this madness? How dare the clay ask the potter to explain itself. And then, it poses the question, "What if God actually designed people specifically to receive His wrath to make all the more glorious His mercy for those who will receive it? I think it is clear to see why, upon reading this, the gut reaction would be to ignore it, pretend it isn't actually there because who really wants to think through this mess, or to be angry because God isn't supposed to be creating people for the purpose of showing His wrath- that is so obviously, NOT FAIR.
And that is what I thought. Past tense. I have struggled with this scripture in my own heart and mind for over a year, not constantly meditating on it but it never being far from my thoughts about God. It lines up beautifully with the theology of the unbeliever who says "How could a good God let bad things happen?" or, "I don't want to worship a God who would allow.... ". At first glance this passage pretty much says, "Yep, He is a crazy God who wants to show His power at any cost and really doesn't have any of us in mind". But over time as I have thought about this, and then last night when I came upon this scripture again as part of my devotional, it became so abundantly clear to me what is true about God in this text and I think it is REALLY important so I want to lay it out for someone who needs it here.
1. We are talking about the God of all of creation. The divine Creator. The one who holds the universe in His palm. Alpha and omega. Sovereign and omnipresent. NOTHING occurs without His awareness of it. NOTHING occurs with out His ALLOWANCE of it. YES we have free choice, YES people make bad decisions, NO God is not apart from ANY of it. That means the woman who was raped, God foresaw it. The couple that lost their baby to a hit and run, God foreknew it. He is a part of every single thing that occurs within humanity because HE KNEW US BEFORE WE WERE CREATED. This doesn't mean God "ordained, purposed or created" the bad things, we generally do a good job of that on our own, only that He saw it coming. And look, we can't escape the bad stuff. Humanity is on the fastest track of the Hot Mess Express and it isn't because of God, it's because of us. If the people who wanted God to swoop down and fix all that was wrong in the world recognized that that would literally mean the second coming and the end of life as we know it, maybe they wouldn't be so quick to ask for some sort of divine intervention. What I am getting at as this, God knows it all, sees it all, allows it all for reasons humans will NEVER be able to wrap their heads around because God cannot be known fully by the human mind and if He could He wouldn't be such an awe inspiring God. We cannot know God through logic because even the very nature of His love for us is completely illogical. We have to be able to acknowledge that our brains simply aren't big enough, and fill the gap with faith.
2. If we believe number one, we have to believe number two, which is that God created some folks knowing they would be hurt and hardened, never coming to know Him. Essentially, He created them knowing the end result would not be eternity with Him. This is the first big stumbling block because if you are like me you DO NOT like that. I DO NOT like reading that I DO NOT like thinking that because why? Because I KNOW that God is LOVE. I know He is nothing but GOOD, but I equate this particular situation with BAD. BAD BAD BAD it is BAD BUSINESS. I have, in my mind, in my humanity, influenced by history and culture and also God given moral, decided what I find bad and good, or just and unjust and this doesn't fit into my "good box". The problem is that I am not any of the things I said God was above. I am not alpha or omega. I am not sovereign or omnipresent. I cannot in my human form, see beginning from end and this truth, if I chose to acknowledge it has to lead me to a place where I can honestly say "My concept, my ideology of what is good or bad or just or unjust, may not match up to that of the Creator, who sees what I cannot see and knows what I cannot know." And if this is true, then the loss of that baby, though heart wrenching and life changing had a bigger purpose. I can't see it. I may never see it in my lifetime but God saw it before I was even in my mothers womb. He saw it and He knew and He will use it for His ultimate good. I MUST be able to TRUST God and His unfathomable goodness despite what I see or feel or think. PERIOD...
3. ...which means I don't get to look up at the heavens and question the Maker. Yes, we all have moments and season of doubt and hurt and lack of understanding and we question God and faith and that is okay. But at the end of it we are left with two choices:
1. In our frustration and lack of ability to understand the complexity and bigness of God, we get pissed. And we stay pissed because, "No God of mine is gonna allow me to hurt (even if it means I'll grow), and no God of mine is gonna let XYZ happen to me (even if it means advancing His kingdom) and no God of mine is gonna >insert gripe here<, because if I can't know it, understand it, put it in a pie chart I don't want it." And we either dislike God or stop believing in His existence altogether. I get this place. I understand what drives people here. Hurt hurts and when we can't reconcile it it turns to anger and sometimes the anger gets displaced. I get it.
OR
2. In our frustration and lack of ability to understand the complexity and bigness of God, we can rest in what we DO know. I KNOW that the God of the Bible is a GOOD God because a bad God wouldn't give up the life of His son for me while I was still His enemy, ("While we were yet sinners Christ died for us"-Romans 5:8)), I KNOW God will take my hurt and suffering and USE IT not only to grow me but to help other people like me ("All things work for the good of those who love God" - Romans 8:28, "To all who mourn he will give a crown of beauty for ashes and exchange joy for mourning" -Isaiah 61:3), I KNOW that the peace and joy that my soul yearns for are found only in Him ("Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest" -Matthew 11:28, "And the peace which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7), I KNOW that despite ANY CIRCUMSTANCE I can dream or create or live out, GOD UNDOUBTEDLY LOVES ME ("For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son that whoever would believe in Him would not perish but have everlasting life." -John 3:16). THESE THINGS I KNOW.
So the question becomes, "Can I live with what I don't know? Can I live with what I don't understand? Can I trust a God who is beyond my understanding in SO many ways? Can the clay trust that the potter will make exactly of him what was intended?" These are really hard questions, but I am more certain of my "yes" every single day, every moment I spend getting to know better this huge God. I can live with what I don't understand because what I know trumps everything I don't.
